I like Halloween in Australia because I can buy 5 packs of fun-size chocolates in preparation and know that at the end of the day the only bitch eating them will be me because no bitch kid trick-or-treats around here no matter how hard Woolworths tries to make it a thing.
Do you ever think about all of the really nice drunk girls you’ve met in bathrooms and wonder how they are doing? I miss you all
Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.
i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter
This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.
so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh
someone take photoshop away from me
He was Daryl, he was. He will follow the booty till the end!